Ugh...

I think my well is running dry.

I had hoped to make 30,000 words by the end of this month and right now, I’m exactly 4,900 words off (by the end of today, I should have 18,000 words and I’m at 13,100). I have a couple more scenes in my outline that I can work on, but I just don’t want to. I don’t think those scenes are going to work.

I think it’s because I’m lost. I don’t know where I am anymore. Probably because I spent so much time these last ten days or so creating some fantastic history/backstory (if I do say so myself) that I can’t focus on what’s needed to move this story forward. And I think the only way I can do that is to start reading/editing what’s already been written so I can see what I need. And if I do that, I won’t be creating new scenes, which is the whole point behind a NaNo. Creating new stuff.

It’s kind of like getting in your car and driving. Don’t look at the map, don’t pick a destination. Just point your car somewhere and drive. If you hit an ocean or the border patrol, turn left or right and keep going in that new direction. When you run out of gas, refuel and keep going.

I guess that’s me. Broken down and out of gas on the side of the road with no refueling station in sight. Could someone call AAA for me? Give me a lift to the gas station?

This isn’t writer’s block. Writer’s block is when you know what you want to say but don’t know how to say it. Or you have this terrific scene in mind but don’t know where to start. What I have is a complete absence of ideas, thoughts and imagination. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Maybe it’s time to pull out my passport, chat with the nice Border Patrol agents and visit another country. Write some other stuff for a while. I had this idea to write a few children’s stories based on Jesus’ parables. Oh, and there was this solo one-act play that’s been dancing in my mind for some time. I just bought 26 back issues of Writer’s Digest off eBay that need to be read. Not to mention a Bible Study starting next week, a stack of unworked crossword puzzles and my half-formed plan to cross-stitch presents for Christmas (if you think I’m insane for planning for Christmas 2009 when it’s barely January, you’ve never cross-stitched before).

Anything I write will still count toward my January NaNo goal of 30,000 words. I wanted all 30,000 words to be in my story, but as long as I create 30,000 new words, I will have achieved my goal and kept that New Year’s Resolution.

Okay, I can live with that. Um...and add 544 new words to my word count. So now I just need 4356 words to catch up.

Hey, everything counts!